More than Meets the Eye?

I, like all young boys raised in the 1980s, had some transformers, the toys that changed from vehicles into robots and the subject of the upcoming blockbuster movie. The toys were a fun way to create, though not nearly as good as Legos which largely dominated my childhood. So you would think a movie about such toys would be fun and creative right?

Wrong. The first movie was a ridiculous bludgeoning of the senses, with little narrative and merciless marketing. And the sequel appears poised to be even worse. I have not seen the movie myself, and I do not plan on watching the movie. Reviews from Slate and the New York Times tell it all. Here is how the NYT describes the movie:

"The creative people behind the cretinous 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,' the second blockbuster inspired by the popular Hasbro toys, have segmented their demographic into four discrete categories:

1. Young teenage boys who still play with Transformer toys (or keep them under the bed).2. Older teenage boys who identify with the professional doofus Shia LaBeouf.
3. Somewhat older teenage boys who would like to play with the professional hottie Megan Fox.
4. Boys of all ages who think it would be cool to go to war and run around the desert shooting guns."

Here is Slate's take on the movie:
"Michael Bay's latest bid to bludgeon audiences into dulled submission, is the reductio ad absurdum of a summer blockbuster. It is loud (boom!), long (two and a half hours!), incoherent (poorly explained intergalactic warfare!), leering (Megan Fox in short shorts!), racist (jive-talkin' robot twins!), and rife with product tie-ins (Chevy! Hasbro!). Transformers will also pack audiences into theaters with the ruthless efficiency of a Decepticon, one of the evil mega-robots who battle the good-guy Autobots for the length (let me repeat: 2.5 hours) of this nerve-crushing excruciation. John Yoo would not be able to draft a memo excusing the torment this movie inflicts on its audience, yet tens of millions of us will line up to shovel money at it this weekend. God bless America."

Good enough for me. I'm looking elsewhere for my summer entertainment.